"'Bank of America" is false advertising--it should be "Bank of America Except for West Virginia". I hope they use some of their TARP money to build a branch that I don't have to cross state lines to patronize, because I get held up every time I use a "foreign" ATM. Naked Bob, my lawn guy, only takes cash, so I was forced to pay $3 for the privilege of accessing my own money at a non-BoAEfWV, dispensed as a stack of Jacksons. Since it costs me three Jacksons and a Lincoln to get my acreage mowed and whacked, I circled around and popped a $20 bill into the drive-through tube thing and asked for four five-dollar bills.
"Do you have an account with us?" the tube wrangler inquired.
"Nope."
"Sorry, we can't make change if you're not an account-holder."
WTF?!
"I'm an AMERICAN, and that is LEGAL TENDER; I'm simply asking you to exchange one denomination for another."
Silence.
"I just paid you $3 to get that $20, doesn't that make me an honorary account-holder?"
Silence. Then "well, I'll do it for you *this* time, ma'am."
The thing is, a picture of my quaint spring house is the April offering on their bank calendar. Am I an account-holder? HAH--I'm a celebrity, baby!
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